Story: Beans and Rice, Rice and Beans

The philosopher Lao Tzu is often quoted: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” As I mall-walked with my friend toward our 10,000 steps, I was laughing my head off until my stomach ached during a recent conversation—well, actually, my monologue—about food. I don’t suppose he’s too interested in hearing about food and recipes that much. As a stockbroker, I’m sure he would rather talk about politics or world events, but sometimes I get so excited about a new recipe that I just have to blurt it out!

Normally, I would bring him samples of what I’d made that morning; but, on this day, distracted by multi-tasking and too many phone spammers, I’d rushed out of the house and forgotten them. That wouldn’t have been so bad—except, as I began my soliloquy about the three luscious forgotten dishes I’d created that morning, his face flatlined as he “spilled the beans.”

The catalyst for my sudden laughing attack? His hidden secret that shocked me into Laughsville: He would starve if he had to eat his wife’s cooking! They’d been married more than a decade and he’d become a better cook as a result. But that was only part of it….

I thought he was joking. The good-natured, slightly satirical way he talked about her cooking was hilarious. He described his wife’s main “gourmet” dishes as rice and beans or beans and rice. I envisioned a jailhouse menu and just lost it, falling into uncontrollable, deep belly-aching laughs! Much to my chagrin, judging by the stares I was getting from passers-by, I probably sounded like a laughing hyena!

It’s not that she’s a bad cook, it’s that she’s usually an absent cook, he lamented. And, whenever she does return to the kitchen, her limited repertoire consists of various configurations of rice and beans. On special occasions, she makes a “naked” bean soup with rice, having a few token vegetables thrown in but no spices. As an honorable husband, he confessed to nibbling a little just to appear as if he’s eating so as not to hurt her feelings.

This clandestine behavior around food took me back to my youth when my mother would threaten not to excuse me from the dinner table until I’d eaten all the food on my plate. Thus, I would secretly feed our always-hungry-but-overweight family dog hidden under the table, who was the gluttonous recipient of my scraps.

After 10 years, you’d imagine my friend might be emaciated, but he’s not. As for me eating all of my creations, I’m grateful for our hikes because it’s an opportunity for me to walk them off.

Once I realized he sincerely was not joking, I settled down from my laughing attack and regretted having forgotten the appetizing food luxuriating in my ‘fridge. It struck me that my words and tidbits were literally and figuratively feeding his hungry soul!

Oh no, the infinite detail I’d gone to describing my latest home-kitchen escapade made me feel even worse! A man of character, I imagined him politely suffering through my ramblings rather than halt my belabored discourse romancing every last, salivating bite: made-from-scratch wild halibut tacos smothered in a homemade tomatillo verde sauce inside keto-friendly almond flour tortillas, topped off with colorful and crisp shredded green and purple cabbage, avocado, a spritz of tangy lime and crowned with bright red chopped tomatoes and cilantro with a drizzle of fresh, creamy harissa. It was mouthwatering for hungry creatures; but, unfortunately for my walking partner, there’d be no crumbs for him that day: another friend had been invited for lunch.

Needless to say, by the time we’ve walked our 10th circuit around the mall, waving to the same shopkeepers each time, I’m usually very hungry and already thinking about my next recipe. Now that I know my walking buddy is probably chronically hungry, I feel badly thinking about all the times I babbled on about food in delicious detail. I’m going to have to fix that and—ignore the spammers!—remember to bring him the leftovers. (Shall we stop at the food court🤣)?

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The following recipe is a tribute to my walking-partner’s wife, who inspired me with her versatility, creating an endless array of rice and beans for her captive audience—her family–for over a decade now. My exploration showed me multiple ways to make it enjoyable every time as if it were the first time. As for the tacos, well…they stand on their own merits. You’ll see why I couldn’t stop talking about—or eating–them!